Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
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