i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Randomize
