He is like the real live version of the state fair..
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
