We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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