How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
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