P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
