Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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