I'm jealous of your bromance
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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