so explain again why im purple
no
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Randomize
