Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
