it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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