i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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