Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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