So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
