I am in a vortex of obligation.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Less talking, more tequila
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
