Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Randomize
