So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
