I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
