okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Randomize
