The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
