I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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