Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
