Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Of course I have a pirate flag
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Randomize
