it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
We named our party play list daddy issues
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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