Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
