Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
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