Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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