Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
