I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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