The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
