you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
