Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
