i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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