she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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