smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
