meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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