K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
