I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
