I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
