So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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