My girlfriend figured out who you are.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Randomize
