This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
