p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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