I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
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