I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
You pole danced in your parka.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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