and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
