cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
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