what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
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