Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
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