That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
