We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
My vagina is very pro this idea
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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