I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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